Bognor Regis is expecting a stampede of tourists this week-end following the council’s decision to replace the pebbles on its beach with mini-chocolate eggs.
A spokesman for the Bognor Tourist Board said “The Easter bunny’s arrived in Bognor alright. It’ll be chocolate heaven. A bank holiday paradise. Imagine the scene, children, adults all literally eating the beach.”
One Bognor local we spoke to told us that his normal walk along the beach of an evening had been transformed into a milk chocolatey wonderland.
“My dogs eaten about 40 of them. And been violently sick and had diarrhoea. But I’ve cleaned up what I can. It all blends in a bit after a while.” he explained.
The bold move by Bognor council is thought to make it the most popular seaside attraction in Britain over the Easter break.
One of the beach’s many fans, Green Party MP Caroline Lucas, told us that from next year she would aim to introduce chocolate mini-eggs not only in her own constituency of Brighton, but in all resorts with pebbly beaches.
“The wonderful thing about a chocolate covered beach is that it’s all natural and biodegradable. And after a summer of swarms of flies and then maggots and then more flies it’ll all be back how it was before.” She explained.
A spokesman for Bognor Council has hinted that in order to deal with the inevitable influx of tourists, the borough’s normally strict parking policies may be slightly loosened.
“You can just park anywhere” He told us.
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