Russia have banned topless men from riding horses in a way that shows off their man boobs as part of new legislation that is not actually homophobic but instead designed to maximise road safety.
A spokesman for the Ministry of transport who have also banned the 1970s band the Village People from riding motorbikes explained that the legislation was entirely a road safety issue and actually couldn’t be more heterosexual if it tried.
“Wearing no top when riding a horse can be dangerous to other road users. This is because when it is cold it can result in hard and tweaky nipples which could divert from road signs and cause people to ignore traffic lights. It could also reduce stopping distances.” He explained.
The move is not thought in any way to be under pressure from the Russian orthadox church who are rumoured to have influenced the recent legislation regarding parking a van in a gay way, being colour coordinated in a lorry or wearing tight trousers with intent to operate a tractor.
Sailing boats topless is not thought to be affected by the ban under the strict proviso that the topless boat owner is planning to pretend to dive to the bottom of the sea and bring up an ancient vase.
News Toad 
Thats brilliant well done news toad!