Cameron calls to replace tv debates with Only Fools and Horses

Prime Minister David Cameron has called for more episodes of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ to be shown in place of any live television debates ahead of this year’s general election.

The Prime Minister warned that unless the slots earmarked for the debates were filled with a tried and tested 1980s sitcom starring David Jason, mob rule would ensue with each adult in Britain running amok and making informed choices based on the arguments made by the representatives of different political parties. This he said would bring about a type of democratic anarchy with people just voting for whoever they wanted.”

Speaking to Andrew Marr this morning the Premier said “Everybody loves Only Fools and Horses. If people want to know which way to ‘vote’ the information is all at their finger tips in the Daily Mail. They don’t want to hear people talking. And we can tell you what the opposition would have said if you’re really that curious.

“We can’t have people making informed decisions based on a series of structured debates. People will become engaged in politics and end up voting for any old Tom, Dick or Harry, and that might not be us. They’re much better off watching Del Boy trying to sell off some dodgy foreign betamax video recorders and calling his brother a plonker, comfortable in the illusion that the only way to reduce a deficit caused by the banks is to cut essential public services relied on by vulnerable and disadvantaged people throughout the country. Mange tous Marlene!”

The move has gone down well with members of the public happy to be disenfranchised from the democratic process. One member of the public told us “I’m a simple man and I’m only going get confused by the concept of opposing political philosophies, each placing the other under scrutiny. I’ll spend an hour watching the antics of Del and Rodney. And then decide who to vote for.”