Heterosexual couple demand to be marginalised

A heterosexual couple have today demanded that they be in some way marginalised from society despite being white, heterosexual and middle class, and have demanded exactly the same rights as gay people had before they were allowed to get married. Charles Keidan and Rebecca Steinfeld spoke of their fury at being categorically denied access to […]

Catholic church warns God to stop making gays

The Catholic church have asked God to ruddy well pull his socks up and stop making gays, as the synod on family issues opens this morning. A spokesman for the Vatican said that God was being irresponsible and according to the esteemed book of Leviticus would risk being severely punished by himself. “If he insists […]

Russia bans half naked men from riding horses

Russia have banned topless men from riding horses in a way that shows off their man boobs as part of new legislation that is not actually homophobic but instead designed to maximise road safety. A spokesman for the Ministry of transport who have also banned the 1970s band the Village People from riding motorbikes explained […]

Russia to use Olympic snow to make giant gay snowman

Russia has confirmed that it will not be breaking with Olympic tradition and will be marking the end of the Winter Olympics at Sochi by using all the snow to make a giant gay snowman. Russian President Vlamir Putin explained that the snowman would be bigger that the 150 foot gay snowman built at the […]

Putin warns against sledging in a gay way

Russian President Vladimir Putin has said homosexuals will be welcome in Sochi for the Winter Olympics but warned them against spreading “gay propaganda” by sledging, skiing or snowboarding in a gay way. Speaking to a team of volunteers this morning the premier explained “We respect the right of four gay men to climb into a […]