Russia has confirmed that it will not be breaking with Olympic tradition and will be marking the end of the Winter Olympics at Sochi by using all the snow to make a giant gay snowman.
Russian President Vlamir Putin explained that the snowman would be bigger that the 150 foot gay snowman built at the end of the 2010 games in Vancouver, and much gayer.”We have transported much of the snow from mountain tops at great expense to ourselves. Only by making a 200 foot high effigy of a promiscuous homosexual can this be a legacy to hand down from generation to generation. At least until it melts anyway. But please remember there is a big difference between a traditional gay snowman and actually being gay. Anyone looking on the snowman lustfully in the presence of minors will be dealt with severely.”
Mayor of Sochi Anatoly Pakhomov told us “This does not change our hard line policy on homosexuality. In fact anyone who thinks they can make some sort of connection between a real gay person and a monumentous snow based construction that bats for the other team with two gargantuan genetically modified carrots attached (one for its nose and the other for its fully erect todger) clearly has issues. Now if you’ll excuse me, we’re off to have a special church service where we dance around the ‘good with colours’ snowman whilst listening to tracks by the village people.”
President of Uganda Yoweri Museveni has sent his best wishes for the project. “I just wish one day we could hold the winter Olympics and construct and even bigger and gayer snowman” he mused.
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