X Factor ratings set to plummet as channel 4 series “Man shits in bucket” commences

Simon Cowell was said this morning to be “livid” regarding a surprise change to the Channel 4 schedule which will involve a screening of a man taking a dump into a bucket. It’s thought that this will be shown at the same time as every X factor episode throughout the new series, and that the […]

Accidental death verdict as producers forget to feed Big Brother contestants

The management at Endemol were left red faced this morning as it emerged that their entire staff team had all decided to take their summer holiday at the same time, leaving the remaining housemates without food, water and far more dangerously, without attention. “It’s a terrible cock-up” Emma Willis, who apparently now presents the show […]

Brian May “not happy” about stuff

  Dr Brian May former string twanger with pop group Queen, astronomer and now badger farm owner has revealed to the public that he is increasingly unhappy about a number of things. “I’m not happy about a  number of things” he explained. Several TV Doctors were unavailable for comment but we did manage to speak […]

Michael Fish caught siphoning off weather for personal use

The list of veteran TV presenters in trouble with the law grew even longer today as weather guru and role model for millions, Michael Fish was  accused of siphoning off the most favourable weather for his own personal use, according to a Guardian exposé today. The controversial climatalogical soothsayer has allegedly been photographed sitting under […]