BBC to axe “The weather”

Michael fish the weather

It’s been one of Britains longest running series of all time, but today Director General of the BBC, Lord Hall of Birkenhead, has confirmed that the final part of the weather will be screened on Sunday.

“We’ve nowhere else to go with it. We’ve had it all, strong winds, weak winds, swirly winds, hot snow, shitty hail, multi-cultural thunder and gay lighting. People are bored with weather, even the recent move of getting Gary Barlow to criticise the weather and decide whether to put it through to the next round has only delayed the inevitable. Last year the weather was eventually won by some rain.  So from now on, we’re getting rid of the map of Britain and the weather and we’ll just have an old man, a pretty girl or Simon Parkin waving their arms around for five minutes after the news.”

One of the early pioneers of the weather,  Michael Fish has voiced his intention to come out of retirement to launch  a new show which he hopes will enjoy similar longevity.

“For years British people have just talked about the weather wheras over the channel, French people have been talking about food and what they have had for dinner. So instead of the weather I will be reporting on what Gerrard Depardieu had for his dinner.”

Lord Hall has assured worried listeners that  there will still be a posh lady on radio four saying dogger, fisher and german bite. “They love it because they don’t understand it” he explained.

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