Gary Barlow in OBE giving back avoidance scheme

Barlow

Former 1990s bland songsmith Gary Barlow has again been criticised today as evidence has emerged that he entered into an OBE giving back avoidance scheme, a scheme so complex that it managed to sidestep all OBE giving back laws and protocol, resulting in the scenario that he still has one.

A parliamentary insider explained that Mr Barlow’s actions were perhaps immoral but not necessarily illegal.

“He’s cleverly invested his OBE in a newly formed charity that has then reported a loss in the form of a loan to an Eastern European company which is then paid back to him in monthly instalments. Legally it’s then not an OBE. Even though it is one. Yet it isn’t.

“Either that or he’s got it so firmly wedged up his sphincter that it would involve taking a crack team of surgeons away from an already struggling NHS in order to remove it. And who’s going to want it after that? Gary Barlow that’s who. And we’d just have to give it back to him afterwards. No-one else would have it.”

Prime Minister David Cameron has refused to be drawn on the matter but confirmed that he would support Mr Barlow whether he gave back anything or not.

“He shouldn’t have to give it back anyway. It was awarded to him for recognition of the tireless charity work that he did to appease his guilt after he evaded paying millions of pounds in tax during a recession. And he votes Conservative.” he explained.

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