George Osborne “Poor people must give us a kidney”

Poor people will be expected to donate a vital organ to cover any welfare payments according to new measures announced by George Osborne today. “There’s no such thing as a free lunch” Mr Osborne told Lorraine Kelly in a pre-conference briefing. We have lazy benefit claimants who are not contributing to society yet feel they […]

V festival cancelled due to unforseen blandness

Festival goers have been left furious at today’s announcement from the organisers of the V festival that the live music event is to be cancelled due to unforeseen blandness. Richard Branson chairman of the Virgin group who own the festival amongst a number of other things told us “I just woke up in the middle […]

Top 100 UK billionaires “bound to share it out sooner or later”

Britain’s poorest families have today received a welcome boost to their spirits amidst benefit cuts and food banks at breaking point, as the new Sunday Times rich list published today shows that there’s actually enough money for everybody. Surely it has been argued, none of them would want to keep such an obscene amount of […]