Royal baby accused of not doing much

royal baby

The British public are reportedly up in arms this morning as several days after the Royal baby’s arrival it doesn’t appear to be doing very much.

One disgruntled member of the public told us “Once again we bring these descendants of tyrannical despots into a life of unbridled luxury at the tax payers expense and what do we end up with? A lazy baby. It’s a bit much when most other babies are being forced to tap dance to help their cash strapped parents make ends meet. All that build up and what has this baby done for me personally? I waved a flag and everything, but to be honest so far it has done nothing to enhance my otherwise shit and meaningless life. King one day? Well how long is that going to take? How many minutes? I’m supposed to be having lunch in the pub later.”

The Daily Mail have admitted that filling their 142 page 3D technicolour pop up royal baby supplement with realistic hair would have been easier if the baby had been prepared to dance, sing or perform rudimentary acrobatics. “He needs to pull his finger out  if he’s going to be King” a source told us.

Pay day loans company Wonga have echoed the public’s disappointment at the lack of baby activity but have assured the public “When he does do something, you should make sure you’re watching it on a giant television and home cinema system with a bottle of vintage champagne on the go. We can have the funds in your account within an hour and it’ll be a good few days before we start phoning you up. A lot.”

Indeed, the lack of activity from the future King has fuelled public opinion that the next royal offspring should actually be elected. Opposition leader Eddie Miliband explained “We’ll need some firm promises from any future prospective royal babies. Otherwise they’ll face tough questions from another baby dressed up as Jeremy Paxman or John Humphries.”


  1. Time for an interview?

  2. Workshy fop

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