Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has silenced his critics and won widespread adoration from the public today on setting out his plans to end the epidemic of every single child having lunch at school.
Speaking to a wildly cheering crowd Mr Osborne assured well wishers that the Government would face the ‘everyone having 3 meals a day’ threat head on.
“We’re all about helping hard working families. But not when some of the shorter members of these families don’t even work. They just go to school. And then they still expect us to feed them. Well unless they’re prepared to start shimmying up chimneys and working down mines, we’re not prepared to just give them lunch willy nilly.
“I can already hear the lefties bleating on about malnutrition and rickets but they’re living in woo woo land and these children are taking the piss. If we carry on giving them lunch, then sooner or later they’ll want breakfast, if we give them breakfast they’ll want dinner. The next thing you know they’re wanting a change of clothes and somewhere to live. And if they’re like that aged five, what are they going to be like when they’re adults?” He explained.
One member of the public told us that the he was sick of seeing children coming home from school looking reasonably healthy and called the moves a victory for common sense.
“It’s all gone too far the other way Kids just stopping lessons half way through the day and then munching away on some hot meal or other. It’s being handed to them on a plate.”
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has come out in full support of abolishing free school meals. “It’s about the deficit or something.” He chuckled.