Conservatives hoping everyone forgets about Iain Duncan Smith

iain Duncan Smith

The Conservatives are hoping that everyone forgets about Iain Duncan Smith until at least Friday according to a secret report leaked this afternoon by Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg.

Speaking to John Humphreys on the today programme Mr Clegg said “I’m not one for tittle tattle but I was told in private that the Tories don’t think they can win if people are thinking about him when they vote. It’s not just the universal credit fiasco, or the bedroom tax. It’s just him, I mean, look at him. Eeurgh.”

It is thought that the Work and Pensions Secretary has actually been hidden from sight on the election tour bus where political aides can keep an eye on him, and thus make sure he is either well hidden or wearing some sort of ingenious disguise.

Indeed one aid told us off the record “We’ve been hiding him under blankets mainly.Or sometimes we stick a false moustache on him and try and pass him off as the driver on the bus. If we stick a hat on him he actually passes for Pharrell Williams”

David Cameron reacted angrily to the accusations  “People don’t want to talk about Iain Duncan Smith whoever he is, I think it’s important that we all think about other things. Like the economy. And dinosaurs. And fluffy bunnies.”  He explained.

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