Rick Astley “never going to fuck off”

rick astley

Rick Astley is never going to fuck off and will more than likely be warbling away when our grandchildren reach middle age according to scientists.

An unrepentant Mr Astley told us “I’ve had a break of 29 years. And I’ll be back in another 29 years. And another 29 after that. You can set your watch by me. And each time I make the big time, I’ll be spending the royalties on extending my life artificially though sinister science.”

“I might even end up having a bottom half like a dalek similar to Davros in Doctor Who” He added.

Indeed fellow 1980s popmonger and now middle aged boffin Dr Brian Cox said “The main reason you haven’t heard much of Rick Astley for a while is antibiotics. And now they’re waning in their efficacy he’s made a come back. Unless we can develop new drugs that tap into genetic pathways he’ll systematically infect all music genres until all you can listen to is him.”

However many within the scientific community have accused Dr Cox of scaremongering.

One chap in a white coat told us “People thought Howard Jones was never going to fuck off but despite occasional threats at a come back he actually has. And young people these days can sleep at night without having to worry about Paul Young talking about where he puts his hat. In fairness they don’t know how good they’ve got it.”



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