David Cameron is preparing for what may be his very last poo at number 10 should he be forced out of his Prime Ministerial job and home by Ed Miliband after tomorrow’s general election.
According to Downing Street insiders the long tradition of new Prime Ministers having to ‘give it ten minutes’ due to the toilet activities of their predecessor was a tradition begun by Anthony Eden who despite having an unremarkable term in office went down in history by taking his successor Rab Butler into the bathroom at number 10 and famously saying. “Look Rab! Look! I did that!”
Health Secretary Jeremy fucking Hunt has reportedly been advising Mr Cameron on an optimum diet to leave the most memorable legacy following his five years in power.
“The bar has been set very high. You should have seen the one Gordon Brown left for him. They don’t call him Gordon ‘brown trout’ for nothing. And he had a tough act to follow after Tony Blair left a weapon of mass destruction.” He told us.
BBC Political Editor Nick Robinson said “He’ll have been saving this one up for about a week. The trick is to leave one behind of such gargantuan proportions that that it is still there smiling at the new PM despite numerous attempts by civil servants and Number 10 housekeepers to get it to disappear down the pan.”