“Yes we are controlled by secret lizard people” admits May

David Icke is right and MPs are under the direct control of lizard people, Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted today.

Speaking on the Andrew Marr show the Prime Minister said that much of the establishment actually had lizard heads but would manage to put human masks on whenever there was a camera about, or any sort of credible eye witness. But this was apparently more by luck than any adjustment on behalf of the reptilian ruling classes.

“We are indeed ruled by Salamanders. But they’re not the sharpest tools in the box. For example they’re making me try to trigger article 50 without a parliamentary vote. Conspiracy theorists just assume they’re highly intelligent alien beings with some sort of complicated yet evil and twisted master plan for us. But they’re actually a bit thick.” Mrs May explained

Indeed the judgement of any secret sect of lizard type aliens has been called into question following their decision to let the British public decide anything to do with EU trade deals.

However a spokesman for the mythological over-rulers explained that such decisions were actually well thought out but just beyond the comprehension of mere mortals.”Of course we have to get out of Europe. It’s being controlled by an even more secret sect of lizard people.” We were told.