Cameron “Nigeria has the wrong sort of corruption”

Nigeria needs to get it’s act together and start laundering money through entrenched state endorsed fiscal hypocrisy like Britain, if it wants to be taken seriously on the world stage, according to Prime Minister David Cameron.

Britain to return Isle of Wight to China

Britain is to return sovereignty of the Isle of Wight to China, marking the end of its long-term lease from the Asian economic giant.

Panic as traders’ bonuses could be a bit lower

Stock market traders in London, Paris and Frankfurt have slightly lowered their proposed bonus expectations as fears of a Chinese economic slowdown continue to worry state endorsed corporate gamblers worldwide. Selfishly other people have just carried on with their lives. One trader told us of the sorrow he felt at the prospect of an annual […]

Britain braces itself for the noisiest winter on record

Britain has been warned to brace itself for the noisiest winter on record as longtitudinal waves formed from compressions and rarefactions of air are amplified by the gulf stream. A spokesman for the Met office said “I’ve no idea what temperatures we’re going to experience but whatever weather we do have is definitely going to […]

Britain furious at not being bugged by America

Downing Street have today summoned the American Ambassador following revelations that neither David Cameron, his cabinet or the majority of the British public have been bugged by America. The shocking realisation that in the scheme of things Britain might not be very important on the world stage is said to have hit David Cameron hard. Speaking at […]