Donald Trump is to travel down the Mall to meet the Queen in a giant golden penis after an aide mistakenly requested a golden under-carriage for the procession.
A source from the Palace said “He didn’t realise that under-carriage in Britain means penis. He thought he’d be travelling in a traditional golden carriage, one with a knob on the top, but not that type of knob.
“The Trump administration have since contacted us to request that instead of waving at the crowds from a gold plated wanger Mr Trump should be able to travel in a run of the mill royal carriage or just a car like Barack Obama did. However, tax payers have already forked out for a bullet proof vehicle in the shape of a 24 carat wanger and it would be unfair to ask them to pay again.”
Indeed the cost to the tax payer of protecting Mr Trump as he traverses the Mall in a Gilt edged vehicular todger is already likely to run in to millions. “It’s got to be made of gold, yet also be able to deflect armour piercing rounds. And it’s got to be shaped like a cock.” A spokesman for the Met Police explained.