Jeremy Hunt to stand for labour leadership

Jeremy Hunt has announced that he will throw his hat into the ring to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in the forthcoming leadership contest.

Matt Le Blanc in last ditch attempt to flog a dead horse

Matt Le Blanc has been called in to co-host Top Gear, in a last ditch attempt to flog a dead horse before finally sending it to the knackers yard. A spokesman for the BBC defending the move said “Unless we get casual racism from a big teethy bloke with curly hair, no-ones interested in cars […]

Avid Merrion withdraws Jeremy Clarkson character

Avid Merrion has confirmed that he will be withdrawing his character of Jeremy Clarkson with immediate effect and will now stick to entertaining the nation with his less offensive characters such as the small bear that keeps showing his penis. In a situation not dissimilar from the termination of the Dapper Laughs character last year, […]

Alan Titchmarsh tipped to replace Jeremy Clarkson

Alan Titchmarsh has been hotly tipped to replace Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear according to BBC sources. The green fingered Housewives’ favourite is thought to be a breath of fresh air from Clarkson, widely known as the curly haired bastard love child of Prince Philip who has graced our screens since the 1980s but has […]

Call to ban juggling whilst driving

Road safety campaigners Brake have called today for a total ban on juggling whilst driving. The demand, supported by the Association of Chief Police officers, is accompanied by figures that show that the juggling of 3 or more objects may have a detrimental affect on driving ability and even increase stopping times. A spokesman for […]

David Cameron to give everybody a free bicycle

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that he will personally give every member of the public a free bicycle under a new Government initiative unveiled today.  Speaking at a press conference this morning Mr Cameron said the new funding would provide a “Cycling revolution like the one they had in china.” “Bicycles are great.” he […]