“No cure for Hunt” warn Doctors

Modern medicine as we know it has been infected by a severe case of Jeremy Fucking Hunt which is proving resistant to all known treatments Doctors have warned today.

“Don’t ever get ill” Doctors tell Jeremy Hunt

The medical profession has united as one this morning to issue a stark warning to Secretary of State for Health  Jeremy Hunt “Don’t ever get ill.” One GP told us “I’ve made it quite clear that whenever I see that Jeremy Hunt, no matter what his affliction, I’m going to repeatedly prescribe him estrogen until […]

‘Food’ to blame for obesity crisis

Britain stands on the precipice of an obesity crisis according to leading scientists who have bizarrely cited ‘food’ as the main reason. The claims have encountered controversy as it challenges the belief that you can eat as much food as you like as long as you buy it from Waitrose or Selfridges food hall. One […]

News Toad Special Report: Reiki Healing proven to work!

I have a confession to make. About 20 years ago at a minor music festival my mate Dave and I decided to see if we could earn a bit of extra cash by performing “Didgeridoo therapy”.  We would find potential punters with names like “Roman Hawkmoon”, lie them down and ask them to imagine they […]