Alternative rockers to continue to dress exactly the same

The National Association of Alternative Rockers have confirmed this evening that all members will be continuing to express their individuality from the norm by dressing up identically, sporting the same haircuts, going to the same places and listening to exactly the same playlist in a display of uniformity that would make Kim Jong Un jealous. […]

Smoking damages the chakras warn reiki therapists

In their strongest anti smoking message yet reiki therapists have warned that heavy smoking may cause permanent damage to chakras, the aura and may slow down the flow of chi. A spokesman for the the British Reiki Association (BRA) told us “We don’t really believe in ‘lungs’ and ‘the brain’ per se, as they rely […]

Prince Charles urges unproven cures for serious diseases

His Royal Highness Prince Charles has today urged the public to ignore scientifically proven cures for illnesses and instead rely on sugar pills soaked with water, that may have been in the same jug as some water that may have touched an ingredient which is not proven in anyway to cure the affliction in question. […]

News Toad Special Report: Reiki Healing proven to work!

I have a confession to make. About 20 years ago at a minor music festival my mate Dave and I decided to see if we could earn a bit of extra cash by performing “Didgeridoo therapy”.  We would find potential punters with names like “Roman Hawkmoon”, lie them down and ask them to imagine they […]

Homeopaths mass antibiotic consumption in protest against conventional medicine

Homeopaths the length and breadth of Britain are to protest against conventional medicine today by mass consumption of prescription drugs. A spokesman from the Society of homeopaths told us ” Just because a drug is scientifically proven to work in double blind trials, it doesn’t mean it actually does. And we plan to show Doctors […]