Homeopaths the length and breadth of Britain are to protest against conventional medicine today by mass consumption of prescription drugs. A spokesman from the Society of homeopaths told us ” Just because a drug is scientifically proven to work in double blind trials, it doesn’t mean it actually does. And we plan to show Doctors and scientists up for the charlatans that they are by swallowing their pills by the bucket load. In fact we’ve just had a local GP out here begging us not to. Obviously because he’s scared we’ll be exposing his quackery.
The society of homeopaths are not alone in their plans to expose conventional medicine as a fraud. The British chiropractic association are planning a mass general anaesthetic injection Bicycle ride with a picnic. “This will draw a line under the whole affair,” we were told, “and prove once and for all that you can only cure illness by thumping people on the back.”
The limelight however was stolen once again by the British society of herbalists who on average took a cocktail of uppers, downers, anti-virals and acid inhibitors roughly the same weight as a household cat. “I’m absolutely stuffed” one herbalist told us, “and now my eyes hurt….”
Conspicuous by their absence were the Association of Reiki Healers who had reservations about being associated with chiropractors and homeopaths. “More like they’re too busy trying to cop a feel with impressionable first year students” one passing chiropractor told us, before falling off his bike”.
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