Reiki healer jailed for misdiagnosing and treating wrong chakra

A Reiki healer has been jailed today after a court heard that she misdiagnosed and subsequently transmitted Reiki to the wrong chakra which could have seriously affected her patient’s flow of chi.

Modern medicine to blame as non-vaccinated people catch measles at festivals

Pharmaceutical companies and so-called Doctors have been asked to account for the fact that people have been catching measles at festivals despite being at one with the earth and never having been vaccinated.

Reiki healers urged to help with ebola epidemic

Prime Minister David Cameron has promised to help Britain’s best Reiki healers to fly over to West Africa to help with the Ebola virus outbreak. “We haven’t tried connecting sufferers with their inner wholeness. As far as we can work out the World Health Organisation has no strategy for tackling the virus through intangible energy […]

Smoking damages the chakras warn reiki therapists

In their strongest anti smoking message yet reiki therapists have warned that heavy smoking may cause permanent damage to chakras, the aura and may slow down the flow of chi. A spokesman for the the British Reiki Association (BRA) told us “We don’t really believe in ‘lungs’ and ‘the brain’ per se, as they rely […]

Woman proves all alternative therapies by saying “have you ever seen a thought?”

Doctors, scientists and healthcare professionals have been left shame faced today after a proponent of reiki healing,  Jay Diamond, asked them if they had ever seen a thought. Speaking on her morning show on Unity Radio she told her several listeners “People might think that reiki healing is simply made up nonsense used to earn a […]

News Toad Special Report: Reiki Healing proven to work!

I have a confession to make. About 20 years ago at a minor music festival my mate Dave and I decided to see if we could earn a bit of extra cash by performing “Didgeridoo therapy”.  We would find potential punters with names like “Roman Hawkmoon”, lie them down and ask them to imagine they […]