Trump to impose travel ban on short people

short people travel ban

US president Donald Trump is to impose a ban on short people entering the country unless they have bona fide business there.

Describing his new policy as essential for domestic security Mr Trump said “America has a problem with people entering the country under the radar. And it stands to reason that these people must be very short.

“There is evidence that short people are only half as productive. They work in smaller jobs, drive smaller cars and live in smaller houses. They want to make America small.”

“Even short men accompanied by their large scary wives need not expect an automatic green card.” He warned.

The news had been widely predicted by media pundits following reports that the much discussed border wall is set to be a mere 2.5 foot high enabling tall Mexicans to stride over it with ease yet leaving their much shorter counterparts confounded and unable to traverse it.

However, reports have also been coming in of aggressive treatment of tall people at border controls.

One six-foot four man told us “I spent 4 hours being cross-questioned by federal agents. They wanted proof that I wasn’t just one short person standing on top of another short person’s shoulders whilst wearing a long overcoat. I was made to feel like a criminal.”

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