President Trump has today signed a new executive order placing a 90-day ban on people from Skull island just in case one of them is a forty-foot high monkey.
Britain is set to be overrun with Mexican bandits who have been sneaking in whilst everyone has been too busy worrying about Romanians and Muslims to take notice. Justice Secretary and prominent Leave campaigner Michael Gove has warned that if left unchecked up to 70% or 80% of Britain’s population could consist of horse riding […]
Portsmouth City Council Leader, Donna Jones, has described reports of immigrants and refugees mitigating the effects of limited financial assistance by creating delicious meals made cheaply out of fresh ingredients, as abhorrent. “Hello. McDonalds. Hello.” She told a heaving press conference in Guildhall square this morning. “Poor people should eat Findus crispy pancakes, white bread […]
The Sun newspaper has devoted its front page this morning to the news that many moles are considering abandoning their life underground and looking to start a new life on the earth’s surface. In an abrupt editorial Editor Tony Gallagher said “If we let them up here we pave the way for ferrets, badgers and all […]
Native Americans are celebrating today following Republican leadership hopeful Donald Trump’s assurances that should he become President then all immigrants and descendants of immigrants including himself will be sent back to their own countries. Mr Trump, full name Donald Trumpety-Trump said “Who do you trust to kick out all immigrants including myself. Trump! And you […]