A secret UKIP report has questioned the party’s policy on lowering immigration warning that it could mean an unsustainable rise in ginger haired people.
Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage said that he was all for discriminating against people because of the colour of their skin but had had sleepless nights regarding jobs, houses and public services being hogged by pale people with reddish hair.
“I wasn’t going to say anything in public but it’s the elephant in the room. And now I’m leaving Britain to prostitute myself to Donald Trump like a tuppenny whore I feel I have to speak my mind. Unless we increase immigration and vary the gene pool, we’re all going to end up like Greg Rutherford, Chris Evans or Shaggy out of Scooby Doo.” He explained.
Current UKIP leader Paul Nuttall said “I’m as racist as the next man but a rapid increase in global warming coupled with a nation of people who can’t go out in the sun is a recipe for disaster. We need a completely open door policy for anyone and I mean anyone.
“In Africa when they started saving the elephant there were suddenly loads of elephants, and they all went on a mass rampage destroying villages and eating all the crops. We’re on the verge of letting this happen with ginger people.”
The sudden change in direction for UKIP is thought to be gathering rapidly in support with comedian Jim Davidson calling the call for a rapid increase in immigration a “victory for common sense”.
“I’m not fan of immigrants but they do a good job of working in the catering industry. If they’re replaced with gingers people are going to start finding ginger hairs in their butter. Nobody will want to eat out. It’ll be awful.” He warned.