Former Radio One DJ Dave Lee Travis has put the blame firmly on the media today , following news that he is now forced to accept seasonal work as Santa Claus in the High Wycombe branch of John Lewis.
“I used to be one of the biggest names in light entertainment”an angry Mr Lee Travis told us.
“Now thanks to the media circus and my suspended sentence for sexual assault I’m forced to bounce children up and down on my knee and offer them gifts.”
One mum of three said “I suppose everyone deserves a fresh start, but I felt a bit concerned about taking the kids to see him, so to be safe I got my husband to take the kids to see him instead.”
A source close to the Hairy Corn Flake told us “He’s never going to work on tv again. But whilst he’s got a big white beard he’s never going to be without work in department stores from very late November to Christmas eve. As long as he keeps his hands off the mums.”
A spokesman for John Lewis has denied that any similar work would be offered to Rolf Harris around the yuletide holidays. “He’d have to apply like anyone else but the fact that he’s in prison wouldn’t make his hours very flexible. And Max Clifford would have to grow a beard before we’d even consider him.” We were told.