A Jeremy Corbyn led Labour Government will bring back analogue TV, returning Britain to a world where you change channels with a dial whilst someone else arses about with the aerial trying in vain to get a decent picture, according to stark warnings from David Cameron.
In an impassioned speech the Prime Minister warned that a Labour Government presided over by Corbyn would spell a sharp return to terrestrial channels all ending at 11ish with a rendition of God Save the Queen and then Test card.
“If you want a return to shit evenings watching Little and Large then by all means join the Labour Party.” Mr Cameron explained.
“You won’t be able to flick through 300 odd channels before eventually settling for BBC1, BBC2, ITV or channel 4 any more. He’s just appointed a Shadow Chancellor who once said there was no need for any other channels apart from BBC1, BBC2 and ITV. Admittedly that was in 1979 but a leopard doesn’t change its spots.” He added.
Indeed, Richard Littlejohn of the Daily Mail argued that a Labour Government could mean hard working families coming home from the coalface, ready for much needed downtime, only to find that the evenings television entertainment entailed a choice between Jim Davidson and the Black and White Minstrel show.
“But apart from that, a Labour Government would be terrible.” He wrote.
News Toad 
What a load of bollocks