Jeremy Corbyn will pass legislation that requires people to pay ten pounds every time they say yah, should he get into power.
Speaking on the Andrew Marr show Mr Corbyn said “We’re mainly concerned with people in the city. Everyone will need to register their details and £10 will be debited from their account every time they say yah or something equally annoying. It does require quite complex voice recognition software and microphones placed everywhere throughout the capital.
“In the provinces we’ll just provide honesty boxes or put collection in the hands of vigilantes.
“The proceeds will go towards providing free dungarees for scary boot faced ladies.”
One city trader told us that Mr Corbyn’s plans could mean either a mass exodus of people who say yah from the country or even worse, people might just stop saying yah altogether.
“It’s ridiculous yah, Shit! Yah. Shit! Yah. Shit!
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has denounced the plans as unelectable. “Though it would probably raise enough revenue to invade somewhere or other.” He conceded.