A Tesco customer was left fuming after returning home with her click and collect order to find that her usual hens’ eggs had been substituted with dogs eggs.
Portsmouth Council authorise new high rise shaped like a penis
February 18, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Portsmouth City Council leader Donna Jones has spoken of an exciting vision for Portsmouth, involving the construction of a high rise block shaped like a giant penis.
Portsmouth and Southampton to share football team
September 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Portsmouth and Southampton will only need one football team once the new Solent authority comes into force according to Portsmouth City Council leader Donna Jones.
Portsmouth park to become shrine to Margaret Thatcher
July 10, 2016 by Leave a Comment
A park in the centre of Portsmouth is to become a shrine to former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher including a 30 foot statue surrounded by right wing topiary.
Thousands of immigrants set to arrive on cruise ships
March 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Thousands of immigrants are due to arrive on Britain’s shores within the next few days on a fleet of luxury cruise ships according to a shock report released today.
Festival under threat as McCarthy and Stone build Glastonbury retirement flats
February 27, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Glastonbury festival is thought to be under threat today following news that McCarthy and Stone have received planning permission to build a retirement complex just yards from where the main stage would normally be situated. Land owner Michael Eavis said “I was initially against the idea but then it occurred to me that I’ve had […]
Portsmouth locals fury at immigrants cooking with fresh ingredients
February 6, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Portsmouth City Council Leader, Donna Jones, has described reports of immigrants and refugees mitigating the effects of limited financial assistance by creating delicious meals made cheaply out of fresh ingredients, as abhorrent. “Hello. McDonalds. Hello.” She told a heaving press conference in Guildhall square this morning. “Poor people should eat Findus crispy pancakes, white bread […]
Portsmouth Uni to keep Jim Davidson statue
January 30, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Protesters at Portsmouth University have told of their disappointment today at the management’s decision to keep its controversial 20 foot statue of Jim Davidson. A spokesman for the University said that they had listened to the protesters but concluded that they will have all pissed off somewhere else in 3 years time having finished their […]
Cyclist on Southsea seafront to try using the actual cycle lane just fucking once
July 15, 2015 by Leave a Comment
A cyclist on Southsea seafront has given his clearest indication yet that he might just might use the massive cycle lane, that the entire road was narrowed and reconstructed in order to accommodate, just fucking once. “I’d rather hold up the traffic on the road or have near misses with people, children and dogs on […]
Portsmouth locals fury as Gunwharf to become alcohol free
June 7, 2015 by Leave a Comment
Portsmouth locals have been up in arms following the recent news that the United Arab Emirates airline has demanded popular retail and leisure outlet Gunwharf be made alcohol free as condition of them sponsoring the famous Spinnaker tower. The ban which will include anywhere within a 1/4 mile radius of the tower itself is thought […]
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