Iain Duncan smith is a monumental cunt according to a new report released today by everyone else. Thought to be the case for some time amongst the chattering classes, the rumours have now been scientifically proved correct after a single drop of the work and Pensions Secretary’s blood was extracted and placed on litmus paper in a laboratory. That in itself didn’t prove anything. But the general consensus was that in Mr Duncan Smith’s case, it didn’t need to.
Professor Brian Cox who headed the study told us “It’s difficult to scientifically prove someone is an out and out cunt as they might smile at someone or make everyone a cup of tea occasionally which will skew the data. However forcing people with schizophrenia to work a stressful 9 to 5 meant Duncan Smith would have had to have been nice to several people in a row to pull himself out of the cunt bracket, which he didn’t.
Mr Duncan Smith has refuted the findings of the report arguing that it is actually the entire staff of the department of work and pensions that are at fault, particularly the ones with a disability.
“I’m a rather lovely chap actually. I’ll make life very unpleasant for anyone who disagrees. And I’ll make life very unpleasant for anyone who agrees.” He explained.