May “No TV debate because I’ll look like a shitbag”

Prime Minister Theresa May has today ruled out participating in any TV debates before the forthcoming General Election as it might make her look like a tiny bit of a cunt.

Iain Duncan Smith is a cunt

Iain Duncan smith is a monumental cunt according to a new report released today by everyone else. Thought to be the case for some time amongst the chattering classes, the rumours have now been scientifically proved correct after a single drop of the work and Pensions Secretary’s blood was extracted and placed on litmus paper […]

Honesty boxes to be used for new offence of driving like a cunt

Motorists will have to punish themselves by removing points from their own licenses and inserting cash fines into honesty boxes under the new offence of ‘driving like a cunt’. Road Safety Minister Stephen Hammond said: “Cunty drivers are a menace and their negligence puts innocent people’s lives at risk. However we’ve sacked half the traffic […]