Public urged not to participate in Panda on the Veranda tradition.

Members of the public have been urged today to shun the Christmas tradition of leaving a live panda outside on some decking for the month of December apparently due to the poor survival rate of the rare bear like creatures in sub zero temperatures.

May “No TV debate because I’ll look like a shitbag”

Prime Minister Theresa May has today ruled out participating in any TV debates before the forthcoming General Election as it might make her look like a tiny bit of a cunt.

UK ambassador to EU resigns as EU countries refuse to speak English

The UK’s ambassador to the EU quit due to not understanding what anyone was talking about it has emerged today.