A park in the centre of Portsmouth is to become a shrine to former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher including a 30 foot statue surrounded by right wing topiary.
Victoria Park in the centre of the city will remain unchanged apart from its unprofitable elements according to Portsmouth City Council Leader Donna Jones.
“The park at present includes a not for profit arts lodge which hosts numerous exhibitions and events enriching culture in the wider community. Obviously this would be an insult to Mrs Thatcher’s memory so we’re replacing it with one of those chain coffee places that charges £4 a cup but you get your name written on it with marker pen.
“We did say that it may well be some sort of facility for people with disabilities, and despite there being no mention of that in writing, if a disabled person wants a coffee and they’ve got four quid then it will certainly be for their benefit as much as anyone else.
“Similarly the park has enjoyed an animal enclosure with people being able to walk in willy nilly and see the animals without having to be an any particular income bracket. Apart from anything else these animals have been getting a free ride for far too long.”
The park itself will also have a further £3 entrance fee to keep undesirables out, particularly ones that might protest against the demise of the arts centre. Local MP Penny Mordaunt has assured critics that despite it’s homage to Thatcherism the park is not just a money making scheme for the council.
“The council won’t see a penny of it. It’ll will all go to a private company owned by myself, Donna Jones and Portsmouth South MP Flick Drummond. That way the money we make will benefit local residents through the trickle down effect. Probably.” Ms Mordaunt explained.