Theresa May “I’m the big change you all wanted”

theresa may prime minister

Prime Minister in waiting Theresa May has congratulated the electorate for really sticking it to the man with the recent EU referendum with a warming message to the public. “I’m the fruit of your endeavours. I’m the big change you wanted.

“Assuming that is, the big change you wanted was a lady with a posh voice, who has been at the forefront of Government for many years and has never changed anything for the better for a single person who earns less than 60 grand a year, and wants to scrap the human rights act and the minimum wage. But we are here to serve the workers. On a bed of rice after we’ve lightly roasted them.” She explained.

Ms May has promised to take the country in a brand new direction with pretty much the same people in the government doing the same things but possibly with more contempt.

“Now you’ve all had your go at voting, you’ve all had your little revolution. Now you need to fuck off back to work but this time for less money.

“You’ve got me until 2020, if you can survive that long.” She chuckled.

One Brexit voter said they couldn’t help feeling a tinge of disappointment. “Why is the scary lady in charge of us? I thought we were going to get the bloke with a pint and a cigarette who makes it alright to blame all my problems on the Indian family down the road.”

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