Thousands of immigrants are due to arrive on Britain’s shores within the next few days, on a fleet of luxury cruise ships, according to a shock report released today.
Whilst none of the cruise liners have issued any sort of statement regarding the report, an inside source told us that the ships have long been used as a method of transporting many people from one country to another.
“They’ve worked out that for the amount they would have to pay to traffickers, they could actually just purchase a cruise and just wander off at their chosen destination with impunity. And there’s nothing that we can do to stop it.” We were told.
Indeed, one Portsmouth resident told us that in just their city alone they saw cruise ships arrive almost every day.
“They know Britain’s full yet they sit there drinking champagne and ogling our shores from the cruise ship bar, whilst they laugh at the strain they intend to put on our public services and overall infrastructure.
“Ok some might actually be British but they’ll all have suitcases, cameras and tans, and we won’t be able to tell the difference. And if they’re not British how do we know they’ll leave again? And if they do leave again, how do we know they won’t come back?”
Portsmouth City Council Leader, Donna Jones, told us that regrettably this was a case where the city and indeed the whole country would just have to lie on its back and have its stomach tickled as Johnny Foreigner dictated the terms.
“Because they’ve come in on cruise ships we’re obliged under EU law to offer them housing, even if they don’t want it, even if they’ve already got a house, and even if they don’t want to do any work. And because it’s short notice we’re going to have to give them houses already promised to British people.
“You couldn’t make it up.”