Britain First refuse to recognise foreign weather

Britten first

BNP splinter group Britain First have gone on record today to announce they will not be recognising the recent spell of ‘foreign weather’ and will be carrying on as they otherwise would at 19°Centigrade.

Speaking in a nice suit with a pink tie leader Paul Golding explained “We’re just opening the flood gates for foreign weather thanks to these Liberal Marxists who run the country. Usually we migrate north somewhere when it’s like this but we thought this time we’ve got to take a stand. So we’re going to be wearing jackets and caps and going about our general business of hanging around outside mosques trying to get arrested. And we won’t be cowing down to any foreign weather. First it’ll be taking the odd siesta, then we’ll be wearing sombreros. Before you know it we’ll all be on a jihad.

“It means that people from all cultures will be out cooking all manner of delicious food thus confusing us with delicious exotic smells. We’ll be countering that by driving down to the beach but refusing to leave our cars and eating reformed ham sandwiches.

“We all like summer but we want a British summer, where we sit on the beach wearing jackets eating fish and chips, going on donkey rides, drinking Watneys red barrel and walking along the prom prom prom, preferably where the brass band plays diddly om pom pom.”

One London borough of Barking resident told us “They’re absolutely right. I’ve lived here all my life and shit weather is part of my culture. I look outside and see a great big orange ball in the sky. I don’t recognise my local outside climate. There’s nothing here for me any more.”


  1. Very clever and very funny.

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