Gove still hanging around schools

the govester

Former education secretary Michael Gove is still hanging around schools despite not having held the position for some time according to several headmasters.

Speaking outside a local secondary school Mr Gove told us “I’m doing a spot check but they won’t let me in. They say I have no authority now, but I can do just as good a job of inspecting things from out here, you watch.

“They’ve made Nicky Morgan Education Secretary in name only. Everyone knows it’s really me. David Cameron even said I did a magnificent job once. He did. On the telly! They just want you to think I’ve been demoted to chief whip. So I can go undercover.

“You can take the Minister out of the Department of Education but you can’t take the Department of Education out of the Minister. And the difference is now I’m free to drink gin whilst I carry on my valuable work.” He explained whilst taking a hearty glug.

One headmaster who had engaged in a brief discussion with Mr Gove said  “He seemed strangely euphoric and kept telling me that he was going to change A-levels to Bacafuckalaureates and make pupils read books backwards. He was so excited that he was jumping up and down whilst holding onto my arm. And he kept spilling his gin.”

Mr Gove was joined for part of the day by his former front bench colleague William Hague. “It’s his turn to buy the fackin’ gin” he explained.

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