Boris “We must use the Isle of Wight as an example”

boris isle of wight

Britain must follow the lead of the Isle of Wight and use its lack of racial diversity as a shining beacon as how the UK could be post Brexit, according to conservative leadership hopeful Boris Johnson.

Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, the former Mayor said that the islanders’ mistrust of all visitors, even other islanders who have recently visited the mainland, held the secret to their successful shunning of multiculturalism.

“Do foreigners set up in Shanklin? No because they know they’ll either be put on a ducking stool, placed in a wicker man or at the very least not immediately accepted.” He explained.

Though officially under UK jurisdiction, the Isle of Wight is generally regarded as a Pariah state, following its steadfast refusal to leave the 1970s. Indeed, the local council have frequently caused controversy having refused to recognise the present government or the EU, taking directives only from former Prime Minister Ted Heath.

Johnson may have his work cut out in adapting Britain to the Isle of Wight model, which may involve widespread cultural changes. Computers are generally the size of a warehouse and can only be operated by boffins in white coats. And interfering with the gene pool is still seen as witchcraft.

“Mainlanders seem to have some sort of racial open house. And then they wonder why they’ve got gaps between their toes.” One Islander explained.

Comments

  1. I live on the Isle of Wight and am from London, and I can assure you we do have people here from other countries, we have Indians from India, Pakistan people, Black people, mixed race, Polish South African, Chinese, Indonesian, so I do not know where Boris gets his facts from, but I agree that we should leave the EU.

  2. believe IMHO opinion that the above was written ‘tongue in cheek’.

    But if the Isle of Wight is regarded as a ‘pariah state’ let it long be just that.

    If living a gentle life, caring for one another, enjoying beautiful surroundings without damaging them. Letting our residents and children move around in freedom and safety, but paying over the odds for anything and everything for is regarded as a ‘pariah state’ let it remain so.

    We are multicultural in fact. Strangers do move to Shanklin.

    People of the Isle of Wight….care about their communities. They are committed to caring for one another, look out for one another. All those qualities that exist in most other communites like decency, honestly, sound morals, compassion are practiced here. The expense of day to day living from parking to food is far greater than the mainland, the wages lowest in the country. We have food banks and expensive travel over to the mainland; which therefore prohibits mainland visits/travel.
    Viva Isle of Wight.

  3. I believe IMHO opinion that the above was written ‘tongue in cheek’.

    But if the Isle of Wight is regarded as a ‘pariah state’ let it long be just that.

    If living a gentle life, caring for one another, enjoying beautiful surroundings without damaging them. Letting our residents and children move around in freedom and safety, but paying over the odds for anything and everything for is regarded as a ‘pariah state’ let it remain so.

    We are multicultural in fact. Strangers do move to Shanklin.

    People of the Isle of Wight….care about their communities. They are committed to caring for one another, look out for one another. All those qualities that exist in most other communites like decency, honestly, sound morals, compassion are practiced here. The expense of day to day living from parking to food is far greater than the mainland, the wages lowest in the country. We have food banks and expensive travel over to the mainland; which therefore prohibits mainland visits/travel.
    Viva Isle of Wight.

  4. Oh dear – as an Islander I have to step in here and point out some factual problems with this piece (which I take entirely seriously). Firstly we would never use something as clearly foreign as a Whicker Man. Secondly few of us would regard the 1970s as sufficiently far back in time. I associate the 70s with Colour Television, Central Heating and Artex ceilings – all risky choices in my humble opinion.

    We do have the Internet on the island although many of us prefer not to use Netscape pages after 1997. I hope this clears up one or two inaccuracies in an otherwise strangely spot-on piece.

  5. Maybe the I.O.W. should adopt home rule, trouble is it’s not big enough for us all to live there. Jack Harris

  6. The only racial diversity you’ll find on our beautiful island is in a square mile around our local hospital. The NHS is an engine for immigration.

  7. I’ve never been to the isle of Wight. Nor indeed the Isle of Man. Nor the Channel Islands. I suspect the main difference is that I O W is not a tax haven.

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