Britain must follow the lead of the Isle of Wight and use its lack of racial diversity as a shining beacon as how the UK could be post Brexit, according to conservative leadership hopeful Boris Johnson.
Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, the former Mayor said that the islanders’ mistrust of all visitors, even other islanders who have recently visited the mainland, held the secret to their successful shunning of multiculturalism.
“Do foreigners set up in Shanklin? No because they know they’ll either be put on a ducking stool, placed in a wicker man or at the very least not immediately accepted.” He explained.
Though officially under UK jurisdiction, the Isle of Wight is generally regarded as a Pariah state, following its steadfast refusal to leave the 1970s. Indeed, the local council have frequently caused controversy having refused to recognise the present government or the EU, taking directives only from former Prime Minister Ted Heath.
Johnson may have his work cut out in adapting Britain to the Isle of Wight model, which may involve widespread cultural changes. Computers are generally the size of a warehouse and can only be operated by boffins in white coats. And interfering with the gene pool is still seen as witchcraft.
“Mainlanders seem to have some sort of racial open house. And then they wonder why they’ve got gaps between their toes.” One Islander explained.