The French must apologise for their behaviour during the battle of Agincourt in the 15th Century, make a pledge to stop eating long bread and desist from saying aw-he-haw-he-haw according to London Mayor, Brexit campaigner and would be Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
“We may have won the bloody battle but there were loads more on the French side which is typical Johnny foreigner, and as far as I can see not a lot has changed. They need to apologise for that, their awful television and drinking beer out of stupid little bottles” he warned.
The London Mayor has already punctuated his entrance into the Brexit campaign by demanding that Gibraltar be expanded as far as Barcelona and all expats in Spain begin driving on the left hand side of the road.”We’re not taking driving lessons from sangria swilling siesta monkeys” He explained.
One source close to Mr Johnson told us “He’s only saying what everyone else is thinking. He’s hankering back to a golden age where European countries isolated themselves and then all had wars with each other. In fairness he hasn’t been very well for a long time.”
The comments have a surprising level of support from across the political spectrum. Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn said “I might actually agree with Boris. But if I do it’s for very different left wing reasons.”