Jim Davidson is set to bring back his side-splitting 1970s character Chalky following news that the Government have given the thumbs up to being racist again.
Government to earmark bungalows for tall people
March 3, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Government are to move all disabled people and pensioners out of local authority owned bungalows and sell them to tall people, according to plans announced today.
Unemployed bloke still banging on about chemtrails
February 19, 2016 by Leave a Comment
An unemployed white man with dreadlocks is still banging on about chemtrails, emboldened by the lack of evidence for them. Tarquin Moonbeam of Amersham, Buckinghamshire, came into the spotlight having broken two world records. One for talking about the same thing constantly for nigh on 20 years and the other for making a single pint […]
Theresa May “We’ll target all those who spread hate, except us”
October 19, 2015 by Leave a Comment
The home secretary Theresa May has vowed that the Government will “systematically confront and challenge extremist ideology” as she detailed new curbs on “all those who spread hate, except us.” Speaking to a packed press conference Mrs May said “It’s absolutely fine for us to demonize immigrants, poor people, single mothers and the sick and […]
Government Trade Union bill to disperse groups of one
September 6, 2015 by Leave a Comment
A new Government bill could give police powers to disperse groups of one unless they are wearing an arm band, a top hat, and have 14 forms of identification under proposed amendments to trade union laws announced today. Business Secretary Sajid Javid said ” It’s not enough for these people that we have more job […]
Iain Duncan Smith “Immigrants must learn cockney rhyming slang”
January 12, 2014 by Leave a Comment
Immigrants are going to have to learn cockney rhyming slang, if they want to be considered either for benefits, employment or whatever misinformed middle England are more concerned about at the time, according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith. Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, the spoon faced politician explained “All we’re saying […]
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