Unemployed bloke still banging on about chemtrails

An unemployed white man with dreadlocks is still banging on about chemtrails, emboldened by the lack of evidence for them. Tarquin Moonbeam of Amersham, Buckinghamshire, came into the spotlight having broken two world records. One for talking about the same thing constantly for nigh on 20 years and the other for making a single pint […]

Scientists dumbfounded as Stonehenge producing electricity

Scientists have admitted that they are at a loss to explain why Stonehenge appears to be producing electricity at a rate that seems to be increasing every day as we move towards the summer solstice. A spokesman for the National Trust said “We’re not sure why this is suddenly happening but it seems you can […]

Festivals to ban long hair

A group of more than 20 festivals including T in the park and Bestival have banned the practice of sporting long hair. Seen as part of a new drive to make festivals more streamlined and efficient a spokesperson told us: “We’ve no issue with smartly presented boys and girls who’ve come to sensibly listen to […]