Western leaders have gone on record today to deny ever calling North Korean Leader Kim Jong-Un “Fatty Tom-Tom”, “Psycho Billy Bunter” and certainly not “Supreme pudding of the people’s democratic republic of Korea” following reports that the heavily boned autocrat has access to a huge bomb which he plans to use to blow shit up with.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron said “If anyone thinks they heard me loudly planning to go up to Mr Jong-Un and say ‘Hey fatty tom-tom’ before tapping out a rhythm on his stomach, then squeezing his nose and making a buzzing noise, then they are completely mistaken
“And if it seemed like I was accusing someone of eating all the pies in a jovial fashion, then nothing could be further from the truth. I think he’s actually a very nice chap and not at all overweight or psychopathic.”
Secretary-General of the United Nations Ban Ki-Moon told a full meeting of world leaders “I never at any time sang ‘He’s fat, he’s round he bounces on the ground. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un.’ And that’s because he most certainly isn’t.”
US president Barack Obama said “I never said anything about his waist size or his piggy little eyes. We’re going to invite him to join the G8”