Talks between Tony Blair and George Bush which took place in the lead up to the Iraq war are to be re-enacted word for word in the exact order that they were said, by puppets Sooty and Sweep, the Chilcott inquiry says.
Whilst the inquiry has come under attack from many who feel that the transcripts should be published word for word, the enquiry concludes that Sooty speaking in an inaudible fashion and Sweep squeaking along to a vague word formation pattern will be enough to carry across the gist.
However, Sooty and Sweep show presenter Matthew Corbett has confirmed he will no longer be taking part in the re-enactment. “It’s my job to translate for the pair. In rehearsals I got as far as saying “That’s right sooty, we’re going to invade Iraq whatever the evidence and whatever the United Nations says. And we’re going to make up a proper cock and bull story about weapons of mass destruction and tell people we were ordered to do so by God” and I was escorted off the set by men with heavy boots.”
The decision to relay the transcripts via incoherent puppets has not been without its critics. One told us “It’s yet another whitewash. If they had any conscience they would have had the extracts read out by Roland Rat. If they wanted to be vague and shady, they could have at least used Bill and Ben the Flowerpot men.”
Tony Blair has hailed the articulately challenged hand puppets’ rendition of the conversations as a move that will draw a line under the whole affair. “I’d reveal all the transcripts myself if I thought it would help. But I’ve spoken to God, and he says it should definitely all be published through the medium of Sooty and Sweep.”
“And if anything comes of that I’ll place myself under citizens arrest” he added.
News Toad 
Stockpiles of WMD ? 45 mins ? Savile gets investigated after death, Same for Thatcher and the Saudi Tornado deal http://www.gopetition.com/petition/41746.html the SFO did have an enquiry but some pages were lost and blair hushed the rest up.