Prince Charles to become King of Spain

Prince Charles is to take over from King Juan Carlos of Spain who has abdicated today.  A shock to many, the ruling is apparently due to a  recent European directive that went largely unnoticed at the time, where the appointment of new monarchs within the EU will be decided on how long they’ve been endlessly waiting around for the promotion, rather than whether they’re directly related and come from the same country as the departing monarch.

Taking time out from packing his stuff for sunnier climes, the ageing monarchic understudy told us “It’s about time. Strictly speaking  I should have been made King of Holland a few years ago when their queen abdicated but I’m definitely next this time. Quite frankly as long as I get to wear a crown and ponce about holding an orb and a sceptre, I couldn’t give a monkey’s arse which country I’m the figure head for.”

The Prince has shrugged off criticism that the job should really go to King Juan Carlos’ son the the Crown Prince Felipe. “Felipe? He can’t be a king.  He’s only bloody 45, I was still at school when I was 45.  65 is the age to be made a king. And I’m 65” he explained.

Crown Prince Felipe in turn looks likely to take over the British throne and has assured critics that he will rule with an iron fist.  UKIP leader Nigel Farage was one of the first British politicians to wish him well and told us that he couldn’t be more delighted.

“Monarch swapping has got to be the way forward. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we’re all better off in a cosmopolitan multicultural society. And what better way to start than with a Spanish king.”