A large diesel powered lorry is to drive around the country hijacking a religious festival to promote it’s own corporate agenda, with free samples of a drink that erodes your teeth and causes diabetes.
The truck or trucks, which have a large picture of a man with a beard enjoying such a drink himself, are to drive the length and breadth of Great Britain polluting the atmosphere in order to celebrate Jesus’ birthday a month or so early.
“It’s a carbonated drink with about 19 spoonfuls of sugar in it as well as some phosphoric acid. Happy Birthday Jesus.” One excited fan told us.
According to the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, the celebrations may have changed slightly over the years from Jesus’ early birthdays.
“They wouldn’t have had the coca-cola lorry back in the days of the new testament. Probably just some cunt selling some sugar laden drink from the back of a horse and cart.” He explained.
“He’d probably made it using the water without permission from a well owned by a poor family and then annexed it and threatened them with legal action.” He added.
News Toad 
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