Non-voters celebrate really sticking it to the man

Non voters have spent the week-end celebrating the fact that they really stuck it to the man by not voting and thus let him know that they were disillusioned with the whole system. One such non-voter told us “I looked through the list of candidates, and none were in touch with me, and what I […]

Russell brand tells people not to vote again

Russell Brand has changed his mind and appealed to the public not to vote. Speaking eloquently through the medium of the English language Mr Brand said “I revert forthwith to my original stance. Forsooth I mistook the emotions I experienced after meeting Ed Miliband for a desire to vote for him and persuade my less […]

Farage fury at Left Wing town criers

Nigel Farage has spoken today of his fury at left wing town criers who, despite not being around very much these days, are most likely pursuing some sort of Guardianista agenda and need to be banned. Speaking to a heaving press conference sadly populated by left wing journalists who were probably hand picked by the […]

David Cameron seen leaving Jim Davidson’s house

David Cameron has reportedly been seen leaving Jim Davidson’s house sparking rumours that he may be wooing the support of the popular comedian. The support of the veteran comedian whose popularity means that he regularly fills provincial town halls and civic centres, holds such power amongst middle England that a thumbs up from him could […]