Former Mayoral hopeful Zac Goldsmith has today told of his delight at being offered the job of anchorman on BBC news.
Announcing his own appointment on this evening’s news Mr Goldsmith said:
“And in the news today I lost the Mayoral election but in fact I won. And despite the fact that they gained more seats that the Conservatives they performed pitifully and Jeremy Corbyn should resign.
“However in the name of balanced news reporting some Labour people said something or other.”
Mr Goldsmith has denied that his new position has anything to do with a once proudly unbiased national institution taking a sudden an sinister turn to the right. “We’ll be censoring stories in a wholly unbiased fashion.In fairness, who wants to know about lots of people strolling through London with placards anyway. That’s not news it’s just some people having a nice walk. And shouting . And no-one wants to hear that.”
Indeed any rumours of a lurch to the right by the BBC have been dismissed by the organisation as leftist propaganda by the sort of people who would get themselves pregnant just to get a council flat.
Former Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith who is now reading the weather said “Well winter’s over and there’s a warm spell coming which poor people, disabled people and immigrants inexplicably think they’re entitled to. I’m going to end this culture of entitlement except us.” He explained .