Falkland Islanders vote to be French


The long running dispute regarding the sovereignty of the Falkland Islands took an unexpected twist today as the results of the referendum have seen the Islanders speak emphatically, and in one voice, that from now on they wish to be French.

Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has requested that the French Government hand over what will now be called ‘Les Falkland Islands’ immediately.  “It’s not just Las Malvinas. We would also like to see a return of all colonies throughout the world to their indigenous people. Apart from Argentina of course.”

  Foreign Secretary William Hague has been surprisingly supportive regarding the vote and has pledged Britain’s full support throughout the transition. “We are fully committed to the wishes of the Islanders and wish them every success with their change of nationality. We will be assisting them in a gradual transition, where they will be officially part of France by 2018. By then we should have syphoned off all the oil.”

President of the French Republic Francois Hollande has agreed to work closely with the British Government on a smooth and painless transistion and promised to provide protection and investment to ensure the future security and prosperity of the Islands. “We will force feed ze islanders through ze funnels and make them into foie gras” he promised.

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