Plans to scrap GCSEs in key subjects in England and Wales, and replace them with English Baccalaureate Certificates are today being abandoned by the Government after Education Secretary Michael Gove followed a recent statement on the matter with the word ‘jokes’.
Under the the Parliamentary Humour Act of 1878 any proposed legislation followed by the word ‘jokes’ is immediately annulled and a compulsory humorous response from both sides of the house is required. The act hasn’t been widely used in government since the ted Heath Government though it’s rumoured Tony Blair used to say it all the time to Gordon Brown, usually immediately after offering to hand over leadership.
Mr Gove was triumphant today in announcing “The look on your faces! Did you really think I was going to call an exam an English Baccalaureate Certificate? Might as well have called it an ‘Oh look at me I’ve passed an exam, aren’t I incredibly clever’ certificate. Obviously I wasn’t serious…I’ve played you all and you fell for it because you’re stupid!”
Opposition leader Ed Miliband however has claimed that he was never fooled by Mr Gove’s latest hoax. “It’s his party that brought GCSEs in the first place. He’s not going to change them back again. He loves them. He wants to go back to school and do them.”
It’s not known whether Mr Gove is serious regarding his new plans to have GCSEs replaced with BeeGeeCSEs where all questions are asked in falsetto by a Barry Gibb impersonator, and are required to be answered in the same fashion. A parliamentary insider told us “It’s so difficult to tell with that Gove. He’s so dead pan.”
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