New Hearing Aid designed to cut out unwanted shouty Scotsmen

Can’t hear the television for Alex Salmonds? Avoiding social situations for fear of Gordon Browns? Missing the punchlines of jokes because of Alistair Darling? Fortunately help could be at hand as Swiss hearing aid manufacturer Phonak have announced the general release of a new hearing aid that improves speech intelligibility by cutting out unwanted shouty […]

Westminster offer Scotland gift of fire

Westminster have outlined plans today to offer Scotland the gift of fire in the event of a no vote. In what is seen as part of a cynical last ditch attempt to persuade Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom, Gordon brown was brought out of retirement to offer Scottish voters not only some […]

Ed Miliband “We’ll tax people who look a bit flash”

A Labour Government will be directing it’s attentions to people who “look a bit flash and give the impression of being minted” according to leader Ed Miliband.  In a policy that will be calculated on knee-jerk reactions to first impressions rather than actual income. It’s thought that a group of Daily Mail readers will be […]

Thatcher death overshadowed as Tony Blair tipped to be next Doctor Who

The News of the death of Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has been over shadowed today by the news that Former Prime Minister and war mongerer Tony Blair has been hotly tipped to be taking over as the next Doctor Who when Matt Smith hangs up his sonic screwdriver in December of this year. Speaking […]

Gove ‘only joking’ about new exams

Plans to scrap GCSEs in key subjects in England and Wales, and replace them with English Baccalaureate Certificates are today being abandoned by the Government after Education Secretary Michael Gove followed a recent statement on the matter with the word ‘jokes’. Under the the Parliamentary Humour Act of 1878 any proposed legislation followed by the […]